“There’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance.”

“There’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance.”

Many share this common perception that people who are brimming with self-confidence are automatically arrogant and are constantly looking down on others. There is always that one person who stands out among the rest but why are our brains wired in such a way that we perceive that the person is showing off? If you are aware of the exact definition of “confidence” and “arrogance”, the gap is much wider than you think.

The word “confidence” means the quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future while “arrogance” refers to the quality of being unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than, other people.

See, once you know your definition of these two terms, they carry very different meanings and perhaps you’ll finally feel brave enough to showcase your hidden talents and abilities. While it is hard to curb the stereotype, there are several ways of developing self-confidence without appearing arrogant.

• Be approachable

If it’s one thing that people normally wouldn’t expect from people who are confident, it would be how easily approachable they can be. Confidence wouldn’t do you any good if you are being unfriendly because of it. Instead, why not use that confidence to through body language such as eye contact when initiating conversations? That way, people wouldn’t view you guardedly and they would feel much more comfortable approaching you.

• Talk less, listen more

Talking more may give the impression that you are in control of the situation, but it can mean quite the opposite. Usually, talking too much or too fast is a sign of weakness and insecurity. If you’re not aware of it, others can easily notice and assume that you might be hiding something, or you have nothing meaningful to say after all. Listening to the conversation helps you to be more aware of the subject. It shows how much you’ve been paying attention to the conversation and you’ll know when to speak instead of spewing nonsense.

• Be sincere

The saying “fake it till you make it” may seem a good way to go in certain situations. However, pretending to be confident could keep you from experiencing what real confidence feels like. Aside from seeming unnatural, people who pose as confident often fall into arrogance as well. Confidence has always been inside us and we only need to find out what confident really means to us individually.

• Don’t be afraid to be wrong

Being confident does not equal “being right.” Arrogance usually comes with the perpetual belief that you are always right while confidence helps to balance your ability to listen and learn from others. Inevitably, there will be others who are more experienced and more talented than you and it could chip away at your confidence level. However, that doesn’t mean cancel your efforts and it is okay to be wrong because we need to remind ourselves that we are human at the end of the day.

• Be humble

How often do you see an arrogant person giving a compliment to others? Even if they do, it sounds artificial to the extent that they are almost undermining others’ success. Make it a point to acknowledge the effort and successes of others even if you consider them to be your competition. Also, we tend to feel proud whenever we receive any form of praise and it is okay to act with humility, although it can be a challenge. On another note, you should know exactly how to sell yourself without boasting. If such an opportunity arises, don’t hesitate in sharing your achievements. It doesn’t mean you are being modest; it means you lack confidence.

In short, confidence is not about acting as an entirely different person or being competitive in everything. Real confidence is about being content with yourself while learning to improve yourself better. Now that you know the difference between arrogance and confidence, all that’s left is to act right!